Picking Up Girls

picking up girls top picPicking Up Girls

I get a lot of emails from guys who want to know more about picking up girls.

Truthfully there is no single “technique” or magic formula that will work with every girl every time because each girl is a little different; and her willingness or openness to your advances will be influenced by her mood at the time, the social setting that you are in, whether or not she is alone or with friends and also by what’s going on in her personal life. If she just got out of a relationship she might be a little more or a lot less inclined for involvement; it just depends upon her personal situation. You need to keep all of that in mind when picking up girls.

That said, there are techniques that generally work well for picking up girls across a wide spectrum of girls because these techniques engage her on a subconscious level rather than on a logical level.

The first thing you need to do when picking up girls is identify a woman in a social setting who might be on the lookout for an interested guy. Typically you will see three types of women out there:

1) Those who are really dressed to kill – they are drawing attention to themselves. Now you might think that this is the kind of woman that you are looking for; and she could be. But most every other guy in the place is going to be after her too. You can still be successful with a woman like this especially by using the techniques listed on the other pages of this site; but you might have to work a little harder and invest more time.

2) At the opposite end of the equation are those women who are “undressed” for the setting and who obviously do not want to call attention to themselves. This is practically like wearing a big sign that screams “Not Interested!” That doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful but you are probably just wasting your time. Picking up girls like that usually just doesn’t work.

3) Then there are those who are in the middle – not over dressed and not under dressed – maybe business casual; these are the girls you want to focus on. A lot of the other guys will be competing for the Type 1 girls; not so many for the Type 3 women. Picking up girls like this is usually easier.picking up girls il pic1

Once you have spotted the girl of your interest you actually have to approach her and start a conversation, Duh! A lot of guys get cold feet at this point because they fear rejection. Let’s just be clear about that – the possibility of rejection is part of the game – nothing ventured, nothing gained – just go for it.

So make your approach. Notice her body language as you walk toward her. Does she meet and hold your gaze or does she quickly look down then back toward you? If she holds your gaze then she is meeting you on “equal terms” and might be less open to your advances. If she looks away and the back again; that is an indication of submissive behavior and that is what you hope to see when picking up girls.

So now you have made the initial contact and have started a conversation. As you talk to her you want it to be clear that you are interested but not too interested. You have to convey the impression that you feel you have plenty of other options. This is as simple as briefly, quickly glancing away from her and taking notice of another woman. If she really is interested she will see this on a logical and an emotional level – she will “feel” it; and that might spur her to try harder to monopolize your attention.

Now I’m not going into a lot of detail here about the importance of body language and how to both read it and use it; but an understanding of it is very advantageous in any social setting not just when it comes to picking up girls. You can get more information about body language here. Learn about it and use what you learn; it makes a world of difference and both gives you an advantage in the situation as well as an advantage over other guys. Understanding it allows you to always know where you stand no matter what the words being spoken are. It allows you to “speak” to her on an emotional level rather than just a logical level. Being able to speak directly to her emotions is a very powerful technique.

Now the whole point of this is to build a level of comfort between you on both an emotional and a physical level. The emotional comfort (called rapport) will increase naturally the longer the conversation goes on; the physical comfort is something that must be “created”; and here is where a lot of guys go wrong. Most people have a “personal space” around them that has to be spanned if you are going to have any possibility of a physical relationship.
It’s not a complicated matter – you simply have to touch her. A brief touch to the shoulder or the knee of the back of the hand is all it takes. Do it often and as the emotional connection and comfort grows so will those feelings on an emotional level.

picking up girls glow buttonThere is a lot more information on the other pages of this site about the whole psychology of attraction and how to build a rapport culminating in a physical relationship; I encourage you to read those pages for a deeper understanding of that.

Moving forward; now that rapport has been established and the physical divide has been bridged; the time will come to inject some sexual tension into the relationship. There are many ways to do this but the easiest that I have found is; as the conversation goes on just start silently thinking about things that get you aroused. How does that work? It goes back once again to body language – as you get yourself aroused there will be subtle changes in your body language that she will perceive on a conscious and a subconscious level.

When you see her responding to you in kind; then it is time to take it to the physical level.

Thanks for taking the time to visit and read about picking up girls – please check out the information on the other pages of this site – and please do check back; I update often.

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Everybody has them; they can be pushed at will.
If you know how.

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