Friend Zone – Getting Out

the friend zoneThe Friend Zone

Friend Zone?

What does that mean and why would you either want to avoid it or escape it?

Do you even know what that is?

The Friend Zone is where you might find yourself with a girl that you are attracted to; but she seems to think of you only as a friend; or worse yet; as a brother.

Now there is absolutely nothing wrong with having female friends who will never be anything more than friends; that’s just normal and if you don’t have any there might be something not quite so normal about you.

The problem with the Friend Zone is that you might have wound up there with a girl you are really attracted to and who you want a different kind of relationship with. You and she have a great deal of trust for each other; a great rapport and a high level of comfort with each other; but somehow you’ve wound up just being friends. This has most probably happened for two reasons that work in conjunction with each other to land you in the Friend Zone; and it’s probably your fault.

The biggest reason most guys wind up in the Friend Zone is that when we meet a woman for the first time; we don’t touch her enough.

She is curious about you and there is some interest there; but you don’t do anything to establish physical contact. I’m not talking about groping her or establishing prolonged contact; just brief casual touches during conversation; touch her hand or her arm or her shoulder; it’s almost like gesturing with your hands as you talk; except that you reach out and casually touch her.

This is a perfectly natural aspect of conversation; even guys will pat other guys on the back, or the arm or the shoulder when talking. She is feeling some curiosity and intrigue about you; but it’s “just there” there is nothing to associate those emotional anchors to physical contact.

So; lack of physical contact is the first reason why guys end up in the Friend Zone.

The second reason that this might happen is that a guy might try to move too quickly and actually try to skip over the step of building attraction. Building attraction when we first meet is a crucial to the course of the relationship; it starts with her curiosity about you; then through conversation and touching; it slowly ramps up until it hits a peak and levels off; at which point we have hopefully established a measure of trust and rapport; and a level of comfort emotionally and physically.

When you first introduce yourself to a woman or otherwise meet her; she has no reason to care about who you are or where you are from; any of that stuff; she just wants to know if you are worth talking to before investing time in a conversation that might leave her looking for a way out.

By applying the principles of negative body language that are discussed on other pages of this site you can pique her interest and convince her that she wants to know more; even needs to know more about you.

So, you’re in the Friend Zone; how do you get out and “reset” the relationship?

It can usually be done but it takes a little work and a little time. Keep in mind that getting into the Friend Zone involved pressing some complex psychological triggers that have caused this woman to feel really comfortable with you but not in a physical way. She probably feels that she gets a special level of attention from you and that you will always “be there” for her.

The worst thing that you can do is to try and force the issue of changing the nature of the relationship; this is going to feel really weird to her and probably push her away. What you have to do is establish value.

Show her that other women are interested in you and attracted to you; thus possibly making her reevaluate her perceptions of her relationship with you.

One great way to do this is to tell her as a “friend” that you’re going to be hanging out someplace with some other friends on a certain day and time and ask her to join the group. This isn’t asking her out on a date or being together as a couple; just hanging out with friends and she is one. You also invite several other friends, especially female friends to the same gathering.

Now; you won’t be flirting with any of these other women; but you know them and they know you; you have a comfortable relationship; you talk; and you will divide your time and your attention between all of the friends there equally.

This might be a watershed moment for the lady of your interest; she will suddenly witness that the “special” attention that she gets from you is the same attention that you give to everyone; and she will likely want more of your attention; because she sees these other people (and ladies) getting the same attention from you that she thought was reserved for her. This essentially presses the “Relationship Reset” button in her psyche and gives you a second chance to start over and do it right; avoiding the Friend Zone.

Building relationships can be a very complex process in the absence of mutually shared situations and needs; but by understanding emotional triggers and gaining an understanding of body language; we can better craft the relationships that we desire with whomever we desire.

Learn her Sexual TriggersThese Girls Aren’t Looking For “Friends”

I hope you found this information about the Friend Zone useful – do keep reading; there are a lot of other dating tips and relationship tips here; as well as a lot of information and resources even if you’re just interested in a casual or “no strings attached” relationship.

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