Attraction And Arousal
Many people do not recognize the difference between attraction and arousal.
They use the terms interchangeably.
But the fact is that they are two very different things that can each exist independently of each other.
Attraction and arousal can both also be cultivated.
They can be created practically at will by people who understand certain triggers of human nature.
Attraction And Arousal In A Demisexual World
It’s also true that many people – women especially – are demisexual.
Demisexual people will only feel sexually attracted to someone after forming an emotional bond. You might say that demi sexuality is the traditional view of how attraction and arousal should be.
Briefly stated, attraction is a mental or emotional state in which you are drawn to another person.
Arousal is a state of heightened sexual stimulation.
As I said, attraction and arousal can exist apart from each other.
However, it is typically helpful for someone to be attracted to you if the goal is to create arousal.
The good news is that both are pretty simple to stoke, you just have to understand how people are “wired”.
Attraction often begins superficially – someone finds you physically attractive:
Maybe you have a really great smile
Perhaps you are tall
Maybe you have an athletic build
Or even all of those things are combined – and those are traits that someone else is just naturally drawn to.
Now that is just happenstance, but once that natural predisposition cracks open the door for you, you can take steps to increase that attraction.
What’s the easiest way to cultivate attraction?
Attraction And Arousal – The Emotional Investment
Creating “emotional investment” in a conversation or in a larger relationship is a great first step.
That sounds complicated but it really is not.
Getting emotional buy-in is often just as simple as steering a conversation toward something your person of interest feels strongly about.
Maybe they love pets and animals to the extreme – so, you feel strongly about them too.
It may be that they are crusaders for children’s issues or social issues or anti-war.
It doesn’t matter what the “hot button” is – you simply have to identify it and “press” it.
That creates a shared emotional bond – a “rapport”. That rapport bridges the psychological and emotional divide between you. Once that gap has been closed and attraction has begun to build, things become synergistic:
Individual character traits or quirks that you have – maybe it’s the way you laugh or a slightly crooked smile – can also become sources of attraction.
In short, once the emotional attraction has started to grow, it will extend to more than just emotional and psychological attributes. Your physical appearance and actions will become endearing – additional source of attraction.
You can see more about the psychological aspects of attraction here.
So now we understand that attraction is a feeling of familiarity and comfort between people.
It makes them desire each other’s company, but what about arousal?
As we’ve said, arousal is a heightened state of sexual stimulation.
Understanding Sexual Psychology
Sexual psychology is simply understanding that sexual arousal happens first on a psychological and emotional level. It also manifests physically.
However, a lot of people make the mistake of thinking that arousal is strictly a physical condition.
The reality is that arousal is a psychological state that causes physical responses.
Think about that and say it aloud (if you’re alone):
Sexual arousal is a psychological state with physical responses.
Many people – even “experts” don’t get that. They think that sexual arousal is all physical.
There have been who knows how many books and articles written about how to arouse a woman.
How to stimulate her sexual organs to cause arousal:
Focus on her erogenous zones, her “G-Spot”, her clitoris, her nipples – these are always the “go-to” triggers of arousal. In reality, all of those physical organs do come into play (literally), but that advice completely ignores the most important sexual organ she has:
Her brain.
Sexual psychology encompasses the mental, emotional and physical aspects of female sexual arousal.
What Happens When A Female Is Sexually Excited?
Attraction and arousal both begin mentally – psychologically and emotionally. Then arousal manifests physically as well. It culminates in a plateau phase during which she is consciously feeling sexually stimulated and desiring sex.
Her breathing will become faster and more shallow. Her nipples will become erect. Then, her voice may become lower, and she will probably “fidget” a bit more in her seat. She is reaching the plateau phase of arousal and excitement.
That is why many people find erotic stories and images sexually arousing. They trigger the intellect, which triggers the desire for pleasure. That leads to physical responses which prime the body for sex.
But can you really “cause” sexual arousal?
Generally, yes; and it’s a lot easier than you might think!
We’ve already discussed the fact that the brain is the most important sex organ. It needs to be stimulated; but how do we stimulate the brain to create arousal?
Here’s the easy part:
Female Arousal Triggers
We can certainly stimulate the brain directly through flirting and conversation. But we can also achieve that without saying a word.
The brain receives and interprets signals consciously and subconsciously. It is affected by certain stimuli without rationally or logically processing that information. However, female arousal triggers can be manipulated. Her triggers can be pressed at will. Attraction and arousal can both be helped along when needed.
Just like seeing a sexy image can be sexually stimulating without rationally deciding it is erotic. Also, people we are talking to will also sense on a subconscious level any signs of arousal that we might silently project.
We’ve already seen that people around us tend to be influenced by our feelings because feelings really are contagious. That fact makes it easy to silently stimulate the brain to cause sexual arousal.
The easiest way to do that is to simply think about things that will create arousal in yourself.
As your arousal grows, your partner will subconsciously begin seeing those signals. She will respond in kind, stimulating the female arousal triggers in turn.
The physical signs of female arousal will begin to occur:
Her breathing will become more rapid and shallow
Her eyes will narrow slightly
She will begin to lean in toward you when speaking.
The signs of female arousal signal that it’s time to find a private place.
It’s human nature, we are simply wired that way.
So you see that arousal and attraction are two different things.
An now you also see that you can do much to create and develop both.
Go try it – go succeed.
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Be sure to check out the other articles on this topic:
Best Ways to Ask For Her Number
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Building Attraction
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Conversations That Hook Girls
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Friend Zone – How To Escape The Friend Zone (Maybe)
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How To Approach A Girl
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The Gender Roles Test: Women Testing Men
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Tips On Talking To Girls
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