The Compliance Test
To start off the first follow-up to my post on how women test men; I’m going to get into a little more detail about one of the very first tests that you are likely to encounter when you first approach a girl – The Compliance Test.
Don’t worry – there are links to the other tests at the bottom of the page.
Right now we’re just worried about the first one you will generally encounter because flunking this one has serious implications for the relationship.
The Compliance Test is typically a way for a woman to gauge your interest in her. More importantly it is also a way for her to shift the dynamic of who will control the relationship – into her favor, naturally.
And the compliance test doesn’t happen only when you meet new women; it can continue well into the relationship until the limits of compliance are well established.
The Compliance Test Explained
Compliance (or not) with her request also gives her an indication of your confidence level with women – if you jump through her hoops, she’s going to think that you are probably a little insecure – and not very successful – with women.
A compliance test might be just one small request (“Why don’t you buy me a drink?”); or it could be a whole series of requests differing in levels of difficulty.
And, one compliance test can be followed by another; and probably will be if she gets you to comply. Once you simply do what she asks, she will keep testing and probing to see just how far you will go to try to please her.
What Are Your Limits?
“Compliance Threshold” is what this is called.
We will discuss it in more detail in another post. She will be testing you for it; and it is also something that you will want to know about her through your own testing.
Two big factors in how many tests she will throw at you and how hard they might become are:
- How entitled or “special” does she feel, and
- How strong and confident she thinks that you are
Many guys who are not savvy in these matters and who encounter this test will actually over-comply. Their initial reaction is that the girl must be interested, and they think that complying with her request will help to hold her interest. This is the quickest way to screw it up and guarantee that you won’t be getting laid by this girl.
What these socially misguided guys don’t understand is that compliance – and especially over compliance – will make them seem needy and desperate and weak; and that’s about as unattractive as you can get to any potential partner.
So by complying in an effort to hold her attention; you throw it away.
So what do you do?
Passing The Compliance Test
There are only two ways to pass the Compliance Test:
- Refuse to comply, period.
This can be a little risky if her level of attraction or interest is somewhat weak. Shooting her down cold can make her go from thinking that you are a strong guy (positive image) to thinking that you are just a dick (negative image).
spacer - Comply – but with stipulations.
If she tells you to buy her a drink, say, “Sure – but first I want to hear the funniest joke you know.” “A sense of humor is important to me – make me laugh and you have earned that drink!”
You shouldn’t have any problem seeing which tactic will be your best strategy here – depending upon the situation.
Option #2 will accomplish two things – it will allow you to comply with her request without appearing weak or needy; and it will put the Compliance Test back on her too. After all, this shouldn’t be a one-way thing all in her favor and by her rules only – you need to get into the game too, and test her qualifications as a dating partner.
Doing it in this way shows that you are strong enough and confident enough to add your own demands to the equation rather than just blindly, desperately jumping through hoops for her. Furthermore, her compliance will be a good indicator of her level of interest and attraction; and will be the first step in determining her Compliance Threshold; which is how far she is willing to go in order to comply with your requests.
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When She Probes Too Far
Show her your back – if things get nuts
Now another thing that I need to mention is that if the compliance demands just keep coming – or if they get stupid – do not hesitate to “show her your back”.
You can do that literally or figuratively. It’s simply showing her that you are losing interest due to her game.
You might actually excuse yourself and move away, or you might let her see you noticing other women – just letting your gaze wander around the room. She will change her tune and start trying to reel you in a little closer to keep you interested if she is interested.
So that is The Compliance Test in a nutshell.
You know now how to recognize it, and you know exactly how to deal with it in a couple of different ways.
In my next post, I’m going to get into the same kind of breakdown about The Congruence Test.
The short story is that she will be gauging you on two levels:
- The “outer you” that you are presenting to her as being real, and
- The “inner you” which is what kind of guy you really are
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But be warned:
She is about to try to get inside of your head…
The Congruence Test
The Gender Roles Test
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