Women Testing Men – The Congruence Test

congruence test header imageThe Congruence Test

Maybe you’ve heard of The Congruence Test – chances are that you’ve been through one whether you knew it at the time or not. Women testing men will use it every time.

You can get tripped up with this one, but only if the image you are presenting publicly is not in line with who and what you really are – or how you see yourself to be.

What Is The Congruence Test?

If you are impressing a girl as being a strong, confident, Alpha-type male; she may just decide to test you to see if that is who you really are.

She will be testing to see if your outward appearance is congruent with your inner self.

The Congruence Test can take many forms; they can be verbal or non-verbal, and they can determine whether or not any kind of relationship will form and if any intimacy will happen.

How It Unfolds

Here is a common scenario:

Let’s say you’ve met a girl and she is kind of interested. Before she lets herself get to far into the situation; she is probably going to test you to see how you react. She will make a judgement about what kind of guy she might be getting involved with.

“Those shoes are ugly – why would you wear them here?”, is something that she might say in this test.

Now if you get mad, if you act like it offended you or bothered you; she is going to know that you aren’t as cool and level on the inside as you try to look on the outside. You have just failed The Congruence Test.

And you might reply, “I can’t stand people who have bad taste. I was pretty sure you were OK just because you’re talking to me; now that you’ve noticed my ugly shoes, I think it’s alright for me to keep talkingpurple cta to you.”

You’ve just demonstrated an inner confidence to go along with the outer cool you’ve been projecting.

It’s All About Your Responses

Another verbal test might come if you ask her for her number. She might tell you “no” just to see if you get angry, or if you just hang your head and look disappointed. All you have to do is show that it doesn’t matter that much – that it’s OK by you – and try to keep it a little fun and playful:

 

“OK, that’s probably for the best”, you can say. “I like girls who enjoy an interesting conversation, maybe I was wrong to ask you for it. Maybe that girl over there, she looks interesting…”

Yet another test could be that she makes a comment about some other guy there being cute or hot or whatever.

“Hey – I can go over and meet him; then I can introduce you if you like.”

Now those are examples of a verbal Congruence Test.

More Than One Form

Here’s a simple non-verbal test that she might give:

She just gets up close to you.

It might be that she leans in while talking to you or touches you in a casual way. Here’s the deal – she knows that if you are the cool and confident guy that you appear to be; you will not get nervous or shaky and you will not pull away. She also knows that you won’t take a quick, casual contact as a reason to try to escalate things to a physical level – just yet.

More Than One Test

The Congruence Test will frequently overlap with other tests that women use, such as The Compliance Test. What it all boils down to is this:

She is testing you because she is interested.

If she didn’t think that maybe you were a guy she might get involved with, then you wouldn’t be going through this test. She is trying to see if the outer image of you that interests her, is in alignment with the real, inner man.

A lot of guys consider The Congruence Test to be a real BS test – I look at it as an opportunity to demonstrate that you are every bit as confident and calm and cool on the inside as she is starting to think that you are on the outside.

You Can Use The Congruence Test Too

And you should use it also – you should qualify her as a dating partner – you’re in the game too.

show her your back illustration
Show her your back if things get stupid

But remember this: if the test gets stupid or out of hand; don’t be afraid to “show her your back.” Just let her see you gazing around the room and noticing the other women. This will send a clear signal that you are losing interest in her. It will also let her know that you are not desperate – that you feel like you have options with other girls.

If it reaches that point and you show her your back; she will likely change her tune and start trying to keep you interested in her.

And that is the run down on The Congruence Test. You will pass it, if you recognize that you’re being tested.

You know what it is now, and you know why she does it too; and you also know how to breeze right through it and flip it back on her.

Congruence In Gender Roles

But what about The Gender Roles Test?

This one is pretty short and easy, but it’s not set in stone; it can be a fluid situation depending upon the individuals involved.

The short of it is that she’s the girl and you’re the guy.
Just act like nature and society has programmed you to act. Don’t make it complicated or difficult.

Here’s a funny fact:

Gender roles in the workplace and in society at large have really gotten blurred over the last two or three decades. However, they needed to evolve because everything either evolves or disappears. The only areas – as shown by studies and surveys over the last few years – where most people want traditional gender roles to remain unchanged is:

Dating and relationships.

Go figure.

But still, this girl you’ve just met doesn’t know you or anything about you.

She has to figure out if it’s OK for her to just be feminine, or does she need to handle some of the masculine lifting as well.

She is about to decide who is going to wear the pants in this relationship in part by using the Congruence Test.

Will it be you?

uh footer imageThese girls aren’t interested in psychology!

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