August 16, 2015

Friends With Benefits

friends with benefits header imageFriends With Benefits

Many guys are interested in having a friends with benefits relationship.
I hear about that a lot – maybe you are one of those guys.

You have landed in the right place if so.

A friends with benefits relationship has advantages. But everybody involved has to be in a spot in their lives where such an arrangement is a good fit. Ideally, it needs to be something that’s not going to ruin the friendship once the FWB arrangement runs it’s course. And it will end eventually, hopefully well. Additionally, everybody has to be beyond the point where jealousy might sneak into the picture.

What Is Friends With Benefits?

One of the great things about friends with benefits is that well; you have the benefits, but without having any kind of real obligations to go along with them.

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Now for the rest of this article; we’re just going to talk about your average, every-day kind of friends with benefits, alternative relationship arrangement. They can be a little tricky to find. Consequently, I’m not even going to get into the ultimate  FWB arrangement – finding a bi-sexual nymphomaniac who owns a bar. That’s the stuff of fantasy, we’re dealing with reality here.

As to how to arrange a friends with benefits situation; it’s really not much different than a one-time hookup. But with the exception that it’s not usually just once – you’re friends, after all. You tend to see each other whenever the need arises. You’ll probably also hang out with other friends who may or may not know about your arrangement.

But as you might expect, a friends with benefits arrangement can be a tricky sort of relationship.

Can Friends With Benefits Work?

If there’s a girl that you see from time to time, and you’re occasionally having sex; that does not qualify as an actual “arrangement”. It’s a promising situation, and she is a really good prospect for sure. But there has to be an open discussion about the real nature of the relationship – and where it might go – before you can feel confident that you have an actual friend with benefits.

Assumptions otherwise can lead to a lot of problems down the line. And that can ruin a pretty good relationship; and a pretty good friendship.

Rules Of The Road

casual dating sidebar pretty girl collage imageNow in a real arrangement, there are a couple of things that both partners should expect, and a couple of things that they definitely should not – a few friends with benefits rules:

  • Do expect communication and respect
  • Don’t expect commitment
  • Expect your friend to talk to or see other people
  • Do not expect an exclusive relationship

Every friends with benefits arrangement is a little different. Also, it has to work for both of you. Otherwise, it won’t last for long; and it will not be mutually beneficial or satisfying.

Now there is always the possibility that starting this kind of arrangement with someone you are already close to can end badly. It can ruin the friendship.

But if you approach it the right way, and you have that honest discussion about the “rules” and what to expect; the odds of it going bad are much less.

You may just find that she – like a lot of people – would really like to have someone to call on for sex too; without dealing with the constraints of a relationship.

But you both have to keep a close watch on your feelings about the arrangement. It’s not uncommon for jealousy or emotional attachments to start developing. Those things can be the death-knell for a good arrangement.

But how do you find the right girl?

Because of the similarities between hookup partners and friends with benefits, it really makes sense to look for potential partners who are initially just looking for a hookup. Then let that turn into more of an ongoing FWB-type relationship if the fit is right.

Using a local dating site or personals ads can work pretty well, both of you are already interested in hooking up, it’s just a matter of deciding to do it on a semi-regular basis.

Turning Lemons Into Lemonade

I’m going to veer off into another direction for just a moment because I want to mention something that I guest posted on another relationship site:

Are you caught in The Friend Zone?

Being in the friend zone means that you are already half way there, seriously. You just have to “reset” the relationship a little bit. Why not read my page about Getting Out Of The Friend Zone. Before you know it you can go from being in the friend zone to being in a friends with benefits situation.

You will never hear another positive comment about being in The Friend Zone.

But if you’re just looking for someone who can fit the bill when it comes to casual relationships like having friends with benefits – somebody that you can fall back on when the need arises – click here – I bet that you might just find one or more people who are interested in exactly the same kind of relationship.

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