The Gender Roles Test
In this post about women testing men, I’m going to briefly discuss The Gender Roles Test.
Like The Compliance Test and The Congruence Test, the first thing you need to know is that you are even being tested.
Firstly, here’s my idea of the traditional gender roles in a heterosexual relationship:
- Men have a penis
- Women have a vagina
And boobs – women also have boobs.
They might also have a penis, but it usually requires some type of straps or a harness or something in order to be put into use.
And if that is the case, they’re going to need someone other than me to put it into use on.
Beyond that, everything else is wide open and up for negotiation and mutual agreement.
But that’s just me
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Traditionally, men will pursue the woman – they will ask for the date, plan the date, pay for the date and eventually initiate intimate contact. They assume the more aggressive role in the relationship.
Women will allow the pursuit, agree to the date and hopefully enjoy the date.
Additionally, and traditionally, men will be the “providers” and women will be the “nurturers” in a long term relationship, especially one involving kids.
In case you haven’t noticed, that is changing and this notion of “equality” is pretty mainstream these days.
But we’re not “equal”, men and women.
We’re physically and emotionally different. One isn’t superior to the other – but we are different.
And each one of us is different compared to others of our own gender.
Some guys are more masculine or macho than others, some women are more dainty or feminine than others; and that’s all good.
I guess the crux of The Gender Role Test at least at the start of a relationship is for you, the guy, to do the traditional things:
- Pursue the woman
- Ask her out
- Plan the first date
- Pay for the date
- Initiate the next date or intimacy as appropriate.
And then see what her mindset is and act accordingly.
If she’s a traditional kind of girl, then carry on in that vein. If she is strong willed (which I like) and wants to assume some of the more aggressive behaviors traditionally expected of the guy; I’m all for it.
The Gender Roles Test today is a little more fluid than it used to be simply because gender roles in society are have changed a lot over the last few years.
At least as long as it does not involve the aforementioned strap-on accessory.
If that somehow seems wrong or threatening to you as a man; then I guess you’ve just gotten your first good clue as to how this relationship might go.
The short of it is that initially, you should take the lead and see what kind of person she is; and then adjust your behavior to be in synch with hers up to whatever limits you both set for who does what in the relationship.
I think that The Gender Roles Test is somewhat irrelevant in the initial stages of a relationship these days. It might become more of a factor if things start getting long-term serious.
Maybe.
Even then, it comes down to the mindset of each partner and what strengths or wants and needs they each bring into the relationship.
Just go with who you are on the inside and things will work out exactly as they ought to in the long run as far as the gender roles test goes.
Good luck with that – personally, I’m still hoping to meet a nymphomaniac who owns a bar and a sporting goods store.
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