Picking Up Girls

picking up girls top picPicking Up Girls

I get a lot of emails from guys who want to know more about picking up girls.

Truthfully there is no single “technique” or magic formula that will work with every girl every time because each girl is a little different; and her willingness or openness to your advances will be influenced by her mood at the time, the social setting that you are in, whether or not she is alone or with friends and also by what’s going on in her personal life. If she just got out of a relationship she might be a little more or a lot less inclined for involvement; it just depends upon her personal situation. You need to keep all of that in mind when picking up girls.

That said, there are techniques that generally work well for picking up girls across a wide spectrum of women because these techniques engage her on a subconscious level rather than on a logical level.

The first thing you need to do when picking up girls is identify a woman in a social setting who might be on the lookout for an interested guy. Typically you will see three types of women out there:

1) Those who are really dressed to kill – they are drawing attention to themselves. Now you might think that this is the kind of woman that you are looking for; and she could be. But most every other guy in the place is going to be after her too. You can still be successful with a woman like this especially by using the techniques listed on the other pages of this site; but you might have to work a little harder and invest more time.

2) At the opposite end of the equation are those women who are “undressed” for the setting and who obviously do not want to call attention to themselves. This is practically like wearing a big sign that screams “Not Interested!” That doesn’t mean that you can’t be successful but you are probably just wasting your time. Picking up girls like that usually just doesn’t work.

3) Then there are those who are in the middle – not over dressed and not under dressed – maybe business casual; these are the girls you want to focus on. A lot of the other guys will be competing for the Type 1 girls; not so many for the Type 3 women. Picking up girls like this is usually easier.picking up girls il pic1

Once you have spotted the girl of your interest you actually have to approach her and start a conversation, Duh! A lot of guys get cold feet at this point because they fear rejection. Let’s just be clear about that – the possibility of rejection is part of the game – nothing ventured, nothing gained – just go for it.

So make your approach. Notice her body language as you walk toward her. Does she meet and hold your gaze or does she quickly look down then back toward you? If she holds your gaze then she is meeting you on “equal terms” and might be less open to your advances. If she looks away and the back again; that is an indication of submissive behavior and that is what you hope to see when picking up girls.

So now you have made the initial contact and have started a conversation. As you talk to her you want it to be clear that you are interested but not too interested. You have to convey the impression that you feel you have plenty of other options. This is as simple as briefly, quickly glancing away from her and taking notice of another woman. If she really is interested she will see this on a logical and an emotional level – she will “feel” it; and that might spur her to try harder to monopolize your attention.

Now I’m not going into a lot of detail here about the importance of body language and how to both read it and use it; but an understanding of it is very advantageous in any social setting not just when it comes to picking up girls. You can get more information about body language here. Learn about it and use what you learn; it makes a world of difference and both gives you an advantage in the situation as well as an advantage over other guys. Understanding it allows you to always know where you stand no matter what the words being spoken are. It allows you to “speak” to her on an emotional level rather than just a logical level. Being able to speak directly to her emotions is a very powerful technique.

Now the whole point of this is to build a level of comfort between you on both an emotional and a physical level. The emotional comfort (called rapport) will increase naturally the longer the conversation goes on; the physical comfort is something that must be “created”; and here is where a lot of guys go wrong. Most people have a “personal space” around them that has to be spanned if you are going to have any possibility of a physical relationship.
It’s not a complicated matter – you simply have to touch her. A brief touch to the shoulder or the knee of the back of the hand is all it takes. Do it often and as the emotional connection and comfort grows so will those feelings on an emotional level.

picking up girls glow buttonThere is a lot more information on the other pages of this site about the whole psychology of attraction and how to build a rapport culminating in a physical relationship; I encourage you to read those pages for a deeper understanding of that.

Moving forward; now that rapport has been established and the physical divide has been bridged; the time will come to inject some sexual tension into the relationship. There are many ways to do this but the easiest that I have found is; as the conversation goes on just start silently thinking about things that get you aroused. How does that work? It goes back once again to body language – as you get yourself aroused there will be subtle changes in your body language that she will perceive on a conscious and a subconscious level.

When you see her responding to you in kind; then it is time to take it to the physical level.

Thanks for taking the time to visit and read about picking up girls – please check out the information on the other pages of this site – and please do check back; I update often.

Where To Pick Up Girls

 Most guys immediately think about going out to bars or clubs when it comes to where to pick up girls – and that is just fine – there are a lot of opportunities in such places; and a lot of girls are out there looking to meet guys.

But in reality the number of places where you can meet women are almost endless; basically anyplace where there are women offers the possibility (with the possible exception of a Feminist rally); especially if you take the time to learn some of the techniques discussed on the pages of this site.

picking up girls sidebar image2In my younger years I was very successful at meeting women by taking courses at a local university. I wasn’t working toward a degree; I just took classes that sounded interesting to me.

That had a double benefit – it gave me a chance to learn about a subject I wanted to learn about; and it put me into an environment where there were are lot of women of varying ages who were interested in the same subject I was attracted to. This right away gives you a common interest with them; something you can talk about to “break the ice” before establishing other common connections.

I took a computer class once; I wasn’t a “traditional” student in that I was a good bit older than the average students attending. I saw a young woman close to my age enter the classroom and walk up to the professor’s desk; bend over and say something to him.

Well; I couldn’t help but notice that she had; uhmmm; a very nice place to sit down.

Low and behold she came over and sat at the desk next to me.

It seems that she didn’t yet have her text book and asked if I would share mine; but I turned her down flat.

Just kidding!

We scooted our desks together and left together after class and spent some time getting to know each other. That was the start of a year long relationship that ended only because she wanted to get married and I did not; but guess what? I look back and think that I should have married her.

So more about where to pick up girls?


Another good way to find a place where to pick up girls is by joining a gym or a health club.

Once again you have established a common interest with every lady in the place; some of them are there for the same reason you are; it is just a matter of connecting.

Some cities have organizations that host “speed dating” events. That’s where you spend “X” number of minutes moving from table to table and talking to potential dates or partners. If there seems to be a mutual interest or attraction; you exchange contact info and take it from there. I’ve never done one of those; but hey; it’s a grand idea and a good place where you might pick up girls.

Grocery stores – I can’t list the number of times I’ve met women at grocery stores. I’ll spot an attractive woman (with no wedding ring) who seems to be shopping in a leisurely fashion – she’s not rushing through it – and I’ll arrange to meet up with her on another aisle.

I’ll just stand there holding a box or a can of some product with a completely confused and perplexed look on my face.

Often; when she sees you she will smile and shake her head; or even laugh. You can then ask her to explain it to you. If she takes the time to do so while she is amused you can then say, “Hey; if I fix it; will you come and share it with me and let me know how I did?”

Lastly I’ll mention dating services.

These come in different varieties ranging from sites like e-harmony at which people are mainly looking for a lifetime partner to sites like Fling at which people are more focused on what I’ll call; “more immediate needs.”

Either are great ways of figuring out where to pick up girls depending upon your actual wants and desires at that point in your life.

This biggest advantage I see to these sites is that they connect you with people who are already looking for the same thing you are; whether that’s a long term relationship; a one-nighter or a “friends with benefits” situation.

Take your choice; it’s a win-win situation.

Thanks for reading about picking up girls; and please do check out the other pages on this site; you will be glad that you did.


Get Girls

Know What You Are Doing

I’m sure everybody here wants to know more about how to get girls?

Have you ever wondered how to get girls more easily?

And I mean picking up girls on a steady, consistent and successful basis.

It’s how to get girls – even the really pretty ones that many guys think are unapproachable.

You see it all the time – some guys can just walk up to almost any girl in a social setting, even very beautiful girls; strike up a conversation; and before long the two of them are heading for the door together.

They just excel at picking up girls.

Now truthfully, some guys just have the right combination of wit, sense of humor and “personal magnetism” that many women find attractive; sometimes even irresistible; and it is equally true that a lot of guys (most) don’t have those qualities; but what they do have in their favor is that they know what they are doing.

How is it that they know what they are doing to get girls?

They learned it; and you can too.

Through trial and error, over months or even years, they were noticing what attracts girls and what does not; and based upon those observations they have developed a “system”; so to speak; for being successful with girls that they can use over and over again whenever they want to whether it’s to get a new long term girlfriend or just to get a date for the night with a girl that they find attractive.

Here are a few tips to start you down the road to knowing what you are doing in order to get girls consistently:

First, when you see a girl who appears to be available; you have to actually approach her and start a conversation. A lot of guys hesitate to do that because they hate the possibility of rejection; especially from really attractive girls. Those really pretty ones are so accustomed to being approached and being the center of attention that they can be really quick to shoot a guy down.

The answer – get over it – it’s a fact of life and you have to move beyond that “anxiety of approach” if you are even going to have a chance with them. How much can rejection from someone you don’t even know hurt anyway? It bruises the ego, sure; but it’s not like being rejected by someone you’ve been involved with and intimate with for a long while.

So wrapping up step one – you have to approach them and talk to them.

Second, you have to engage her mind on an emotional level early on in the conversation. Girls are picking up girls sidebar imagelovely creatures with two minds; they have a logical mind; and they have an emotional mind.

Their logical mind works pretty much like ours do; they see or hear something, they process that information; and then they form a thought or an opinion.

Their emotional minds however seem to be very different from ours – they see or hear something and then they just  feel it on an emotional level; they never rationally consider it; they just feel it.

The answer – learn to engage her emotional mind more than her logical mind; keep her from thinking about it – just make her see it, hear it and feel it.

So wrapping up step two – you have to engage her emotional mind and somewhat disengage her logical mind.

This will help you get girls on a consistent basis.

Third, do not ever let her think that you are overly interested or desperate; or worse yet; “needy”.

Make her believe that you are interested – you would not be approaching her otherwise anyway; but you are not overly interested; just casually so; and you have other options besides her.

The answer – look at other girls while you are talking to her; not staring at them of course; just quick glances as if you are sizing up your options should this conversation not “work out”.

Be careful with this; it has to be done as if you don’t even realize that you are doing it – keep on smiling and carrying on the conversation with the girl you are interested in; just quick glances away from her that will signal to her that all of your options are open and that you notice that there are “other fish in the sea”.

So wrapping up step three – you are interested but not desperate or needy; you have plenty of other options.

Fourth, be confident in your masculinity and your male gender role in the relationship so that she can be comfortable with her femininity and her female gender role (this is mostly for desired longer term relationships).

In the absence of a “man to be the man”’ a woman will assume both roles equally – she has to; project that it is OK for her to be who she is most comfortable with being. If she likes playing both roles and you can deal with that; then there is nothing wrong with that.

We are equal partners anyway; we just usually have “guy” roles to embrace and “girl” roles to embrace; it doesn’t matter if those lines or roles diverge or cross; as long as the two of you expect that and agree to that.

The answer – be a confident man in all matters; her possible assertiveness in some scenarios does not threaten your manhood; it compliments it; your confidence as a man also compliments her ability to be a woman.

This is as it should be.

We’ve got our part down pat – now she doesn’t have to worry about that.

So wrapping up step four – just be a man; that is what she is looking for anyway and this will help you get girls.

Fifth, with a woman you have just met; there is a physical gap that exists between you; the “personal space”; the comfort zone or whatever you want to call it.

We need to bridge that gap pretty much immediately.

Much like “approach anxiety” where you actually have to go up to her and start a conversation; the physical gap can only be bridged by touching her.

Just tap her on the arm or the hand casually while making a verbal point; or when she makes one; just a quick, casual touch.

This establishes physical contact; her comfort with that will grow; and it sets the stage for a physical relationship.

The answer – touch her often in a quick, casual way. Not lingering strokes, just a tap to her hand or her arm or her shoulder.

Wrapping up step five – establish physical contact early in the conversation so that she becomes comfortable with your touch.

What good does it do to get girls if you just find yourself in “The Friend Zone”?

Sixth, Let’s say things are going well and there is obviously a shared attraction both emotionally and physically, at the right moment you have to induce sexual attraction and sexual tension into both her psyche and into yours.


How the heck do I do that?!, you might be thinking right about now.

The answer – silently picture or think about things that get you sexually aroused; you don’t talk about them; you just think about them and get yourself aroused. Believe me; the subtle changes in your body language toward her will be noticed and interpreted on an emotional level.

She will “feel” it and she will respond.

Wrapping up step six – be prepared to introduce feelings of sexuality into the relationship.

So there you have a quick primer on picking up girls from guys who know what they are doing.
Learn it, then do it!

It took a lot of guys a long time to figure out some of this good stuff about picking up girls; but the payoff can be huge.

Fortunately, you don’t have to go through that whole learning curve the way they did; this knowledge is available right now; and it works.

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What do you know about Sexual Triggers?
Do you know how to use them?
Everybody has them; they can be pushed at will.
If you know how.

Read here:
Sexual Triggers


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