Women Seeking Older Men
If someone is just looking for a casual relationship – there is little reason to dwell on the advantages or potential problems that can come with an “age gap” relationship. But if it’s serious, so are the considerations.
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But before we get into the specifics of that, the easiest way to find women searching for older men is the same as finding anything else:
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But why are some younger women attracted to older men?
Obviously, there are as many reasons for younger women to seek older men as there are reasons for younger men to seek older women.
Mature dating arrangements can have benefits for all involved at certain points in their lives.
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I never realized until recently that there are so many younger women seeking older men.
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Younger Women – Older Men: The Reality:
And that is great news for the older guys or guys seeking W4M.
Obviously, a lot of older guys like to date younger women.
Additionally, a lot of young guys like to date older women. But I was really surprised to learn that many younger women like older men.
So that is pretty cool – older women seeking older men and young women seeking older men.
Damn – I wonder if I could find a hot mother – daughter tag team?
Studies that span cultures find that men of every age typically prefer younger partners. It seems that the 21 to 25 year old age range is most common.
There are biological and cultural reasons for that. Besides, young people are just a lot more pleasant to look at.
Seriously, there are many reasons for younger guys to date older women.
The same is true for young women seeking older men.
Ironically, many of those reasons are exactly the same.
And there are a few extra thrown in to boot.
It’s safe to say that some young women prefer older men for financial reasons or social status.
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These might be defined as the typical “sugar daddy” kind of arrangements:
The older man is essentially paying the living expenses for the woman. He frequently gives her expensive gifts. He might take her on remarkable trips or vacations. In return, the younger woman is available for dating, sex and companionship.
That could be a pretty practical arrangement with obvious benefits for both people.
But in many other cases; it is less about the financial benefits. It is more about the psychological and emotional attributes that often come with age. Attributes which some young women admire:
- Greater emotional stability
- Greater social status
- More life experience
- More relationship experience
- Appreciative treatment and behavior
Women Seeking Older Men – The Reasons:
It is often said that younger women dating older men have “daddy issues”.
That they are seeking a surrogate father. That is no doubt true in some instances, However, a recent study suggests that younger women seeking older men are usually more interested in:
- Emotional maturity and stability.
A common remark from younger women who date older men is that the guys their own age just lack maturity. Some even say that after talking to older guys, the young guys just come off like “little boys”.
placeholder - Financial stability.
Although not consistently one of the top reasons, having a career, a decent income and a home do add to the attractiveness of dating older guys.
placeholder - Self-confidence and experience.
Many young women in “age-gap” relationships with older men say that they are attracted to the self-confidence of older men. Obviously, that comes with age and experience. They say that older men know better how to handle themselves in any given situation. That guys their own age just don’t have that.
placeholder - Appreciation and thoughtfulness.
Older men know how to treat their dates and their partners. Little things like holding a door open or pulling out their chair at a restaurant can make a big impression. Those things show that they are aware of and attentive to their partners. While the younger guys are checking their email or messages, the mature men are making conversation.
placeholder - Better in bed, and better at life.
More experience between the sheets – and with life in general – translates into a better experience for the people they share it with. It may partly be due to technique, but a larger part is just due to their attentiveness to the needs of others.
placeholder - Better communication.
We’re talking about quality and quantity here. The older guys are more direct in stating what they think. Mature guys also know when to listen and when to speak up. And they listen in ways that let you know that you are being listened to.
placeholder - Better conversations.
This is another aspect of the maturity factor. While the younger guys are talking about video games, bar hopping or other more youthful pursuits, the older men are displaying the wisdom that comes with age. They embody the insight that accumulates over time and with experience.
placeholder - Unafraid of relationships.
A lot of the younger guys seem to just want to have some fun with girls. They’re busy chasing their careers and hanging with their friends. Relationships are just a temporary distraction. Not so much so with the mature guys – they’ve already been there and done that. If they don’t want a relationship – they’re usually going to say so.
placeholder - They “get it” – and they get their partners.
They know where you’re coming from because they have already experienced that phase of life. The 20-something guys just lack perspective and emotional maturity. They haven’t yet figured out their own feelings or their place in the big scheme of things. That includes relationships and how to value a date or partner. Older men have most of that sorted out.
placeholder - Better, more memorable dates – including romance.
His idea of a cool date isn’t hanging out with his buds and knocking back a few beers. It’s all about the quality of the experience for his date. He will add some romance and chivalry to the experience.
There are many other reasons given as to why some younger women prefer dating older men.
Simply put, a lot of it does just boil down to this:
They’ve got their acts and their lives together like
only experience and maturity allows you to do.
And that more often translates into an attentive and appreciative partner. One who is more focused on the needs and desires of his companion.
But there is a flip-side to this scenario:
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No discussion of a “May – December” relationship would be complete without at least touching on:
The Disadvantages of Age Gap Relationships
Age is just a number, right?
Not really.
But the closer together those numbers are, the less impact they will have on the dynamics of a relationship.
An age difference of 5 years is less meaningful than one of 15 years.
However, the differences can still be stark.
And many of the things that attract a younger woman to an older man – and vice versa – can become problematic over time.
The Mindset:
An older person is more likely to be set in their ways while a younger one is still figuring out life and their place in it.
Sometimes, it is that sense of “having it all figured out” that is attractive about someone older. But it can be a stifling situation for the younger partner.
Especially when the older one is critical of the actions or behavior of the younger one. Someone young is just starting to experience the joys and frustrations of personal growth on multiple levels. There has to be time and room for that.
Often times, the older partner feels that they have the more valuable knowledge and opinions. They think that they hold the “power” in the relationship and should make the decisions because of age.
Cultural Differences and Cultural References:
We often express ourselves in the context of the times in which we are raised.
Those times can influence more than just our preferences in music.
They can also influence our opinions and mindsets. Pretty much everyone over the age of 40 recalls where they were when the space shuttle Challenger exploded, people under the age of 30 might not even know when it happened.
Defining moments of our time occur as we come of age. Those significant events in life might not be relate well across the generational divide between people of different ages.
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It can be the difference between similar and shared opinions and mindsets; and things that have no meaning to someone of a different age.
Opinions of Others:
You will encounter a lot of people who disapprove of a relationship with a big age difference.
That may not be a problem when those people are gawking strangers in public. But what if they happen to be parents, family members or close friends?
And speaking of friends:
Compatibility of Friends:
You have your friends and she has hers.
Some may even be very close friends.
Even if the differences related to age in the relationship itself can be managed; the interaction of one partner with the friends of the other might be another matter.
This is a serious consideration when hooking up with women seeking older men for a serious or steady relationship.
Let’s say that you are a 45-year-old guy with a 23-year-old girlfriend. Say that you both go out to spend an evening with your friends.
Chances are that your friends will be talking about their kids, their investments, or other things of interest to people in that age bracket. Your 23-year-old girlfriend may be totally disinterested and unable to relate to them at a social event.
The same thing might be said about a 45-year-old guy sitting at a table full of 24 year-olds. They might be talking about college classes, Lady Gaga and doing some club hopping. Those probably aren’t topics that you can contribute much to.
Sexual Compatibility:
Most men hit their sexual prime between the ages of 18 and 25. Most women peak sexually between the ages of 25 and 40.
Do the math.
Everyone is different of course, but the possibility is there that desire and drive might not match up too well between partners who are too far apart in age.
The Future:
Where will it go?
The older partner might already have kids and want no more.
The younger partner might have none – yet – but wants to eventually.
And in romances where one partner is significantly older, consideration has to be given to the inevitable ravages of age and what those can mean to both partners a little later in life.
Attracting Younger Women:
OK – let’s assume that as an older guy you totally want to date younger women.
As luck would have it – there are a lot of younger women seeking older men.
But there are a few things that you should do to make yourself attractive to younger women and be one of those older guys that they would actually want to date.
If any of these things just aren’t for you; you might do better – and be a better partner – dating women a little closer to your own age.
Here’s a quick run-down:
- Act your age.
Don’t try to “act young” or anything other than the age that you are – that is what she is attracted to, remember? At the same time; keep in mind that she’s probably not ready for “quite nights at home”; every night. Be open to doing things that she wants to do that you might never go do on your own. And entice her to do things that she might never do if not dating you.
placeholder - Stay in shape or get in shape.
It’s unlikely that she finds older guys attractive because they are on the cusp of slow and feeble. Young women want an older guy who looks good – or reasonably good for his age – and who is still active and up for some fun. You don’t have to shoot for the ripped physique of a 23 year old athlete or run any marathons; but face it – as we get older, working out is less of an option than a necessity. Do I even need to mention personal hygiene?
placeholder - Make time for her – but not too much.
Chasing a younger woman makes you seem desperate – and even a little creepy. Besides, you’re an older guy with a career and interests and obligations outside of the relationship. You have to demonstrate that while the she is important to you – you still have to strike a balance between all of the competing demands in your life.
placeholder - Lose the jealousy.
If you’re bothered that guys younger than you are hitting on her, you are headed down the wrong road. Showing that you’re cool with it – that you expect it – highlights your maturity and emotional stability. Those are some of the things that makes her prefer older men to younger guys in the first place.There is zero room for drama or head games – you are too mature and too cool for that bratty young guy stuff.
Placeholder - Embrace charm, romance and chivalry.
Look – this goes for women of every age. Show her a little romance – a candle-lit dinner in a decent restaurant is never over the top no matter her age. Women love a romantic evening – and the guy who arranges it with them in mind. And don’t forget to do the little things that younger guys usually neglect – open the door for her, pull out her chair at the table – all of these little gestures show her that she is special to you, and that you are special among men.
placeholder - Respect her independence and opinions.
A lot of older guys tend to disrespect their younger dates without even realizing that they are doing it. Being older, they can too easily create the impression that a young woman isn’t experienced enough in life to have proper opinions. Worse yet is making it feel like she needs someone older to constantly tell her what to do.
placeholder - Never act like her age or your age is a big deal.
The fact that a younger woman is interested in you should seem like the most natural thing in the world to you.
The age difference isn’t a surprising factor to you. After all, it’s just a shared attraction that brought you together.
The Conclusion:
Love and attraction just happen.
If a young woman is drawn to an older partner as a “parental” or authority type figure; that might be a problem.
If an older guy is attracted to younger women because they make him feel more youthful – that might be a problem too.
There are a lot of women seeking older men for a lot of different reasons.
There is no real reason why older men – younger women relationships can’t work as long as both partners go into one with both eyes open.
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No matter what kind of women or relationships you crave, you can bet
there are plenty of girls out there looking for the same things.
The trick is simply in finding them.
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