How To Approach A Girl

how to approach a girl coffee shop photoHow To Approach A Girl

Today, I’m here to share some good news about how to approach a girl.

Right now is the best time ever in the last ten years to approach attractive women in public.

Let me explain why.

And let me also explain how this is a major opportunity for you to improve your dating success rate:

The Rise Of The Apps

We all know that dating apps and online dating has surged in recent years.
That has resulted in more and more people using apps and sites exclusively for meeting strangers.

That means that far fewer guys are using the “cold approach”.
That’s where they just walk up and start talking to a woman in public.

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A lot of guys have become so used to apps that it’s almost like they don’t remember how to approach a girl.

At the same time, a lot of people have developed “dating app fatigue”.
They are connecting to some extent with a lot more people.

But they are not getting good results with the people that they meet.
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They are getting tired of “quantity over quality”.

But there is another problem with the people met through apps:
Oftentimes, they just aren’t who they appeared to be in their profiles or introductory contacts.

That leads to disappointment.
That leads to a lot of time being wasted, too.
When you’re focused on how to get lucky with an attractive girl, dead ends and wasted time are not what you want.

Approaching Girls In Public

Be proactive in trying to meet quality dating partners.

Sometimes, the best way to meet a girl is the old-fashioned way.

Now a lot of attractive women say that before the rise of the apps; guys frequently approached them in public.
These days, it doesn’t happen nearly as much as it used to.

As a result – when you – approach a girl in a non-creepy way, she might actually find it a  refreshing change from the app experience. She might also find it a little flattering that she caught your eye.

She might also put you into a class by yourself. You have set yourself apart from the other guys – because of your one-on-one, face-to-face approach.

That approach has become a bit of a rarity, after all because most guys just don’t try to connect with girls in public anymore.

Now there are a couple of key elements to doing this the right way. The last things you want to do are alarm the girl or come off as some kind of creepy stranger. Face it – if she feels alarmed or threatened or stalked, it is over. If she feels a “creepy” vibe, you’re done.

How To Approach Girls Casually

Here are a few tips – and yeah, most of these are provided by women:

  • Don’t approach her when she might feel trapped or “boxed in”.
    Don’t block her. Don’t approach her in an elevator or when she’s trapped in her seat on a bus, plane subway, etc. Make sure she has some space and a clear path to walk away.
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  • No touching.
    The only exception – and I mean the only one – is if you introduce yourself and offer your hand for a casual handshake.
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  • Don’t try to get her number or get a conversation going if she is just doing her job when meeting you.
    If she’s working a register or taking your order in a restaurant, she has to talk to you. Don’t use that as an opportunity to flirt – she has limited options in how to react.
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  • Don’t come off as a player.
    It’s probably really not her luckiest day ever because you showed up. Don’t try to act like she should feel privileged by your interest.
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  • Don’t use “pick-up” lines and don’t just say “Hi” and expect her to start a conversation.
    Be ready to start the conversation, sure. But also be ready to keep it going until she gets a little invested or interested in your approach.

So what’s old really is new again; especially when it comes to how to approach a girl.

It used to be that approaching girls in public was one of the only ways to meet besides being introduced through friends.

The Failure Of The Apps

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The apps changed all of that. Today, very few people today take the time to actually write a letter and mail it. And very few guys just walk up to girls in public and start a conversation.

It’s not a “lost art”; but many guys forgo the approach in favor of some app.

And that presents you with an opportunity to look like one in a million.

It also gives you a little instant gratification. You don’t have to wait for a swipe or a like or some response to flow in from an unseen universe. It’s all here and now, face to face, it’s real time.

Hopefully, you see now what a great chance this is for you to meet new girls.
Obviously, every trip to the grocery store, to the gym or to any other public place will open the door to meeting someone new.

The “Cold Approach”

Now some guys have a little trouble with the “cold approach”. Here are a few ways to deal with that – read about overcoming approach anxiety here.

Now that we have been given some tips on what not to do, here are a few on what you should do:

  • Smile.
    A friendly smile when you first say “Hello” goes a long way toward creating a sense of comfort and security when you first approach a girl.
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  • Compliment her.
    But here’s a million dollar tip:
    Do not compliment her on her body; compliment her on something that she chooses.
    Don’t say that her eyes are pretty; say that the color of the dress or blouse that she is wearing really highlights her eyes.
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  • Have a reason for saying hello.
    Ask a simple question or make a simple comment – “Can you tell me what time it is?”, or make a comment on her shoes, her purse or a book that she might be reading or carrying.
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  • Be relaxed, or act relaxed.
    Make eye contact and use positive body language. Don’t fidget, cross your arms over your chest or use other gestures that might make you seem uncomfortable.
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  • Use some humor.
    Make her laugh with a comment about the place you are in or something else that’s amusing. That will go a long way toward easing any tension or uncertainty about your approach.

Wrapping It Up

The bottom line is this:

A lot of girls who used to get approached in public all the time, rarely do now.
Those girls were perfectly fine with that as the app craze grew and they used the apps too.

But now, some “app fatigue” has started creeping in and they are less interested in meeting people that way.
At the same time, many guys have not developed that app fatigue. So they have not adjusted their tactics and started approaching women in public.

Knowing when or how to approach a girl is a lot easier when you know that.

A lot of girls like that cold approach, but you must do it in a casual and comfortable way. A way that doesn’t make them feel threatened or insecure or creeped out.

So; put the phones down guys – she is right over there right here and right now.

Walk over and just say, “Hi” – it’s how to approach a girl after all.

Leave a comment, let us know what you think.

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Comments 2

  • Thanks for the really informative site. You present the info in such a useful way that’s easy to understand. What’s more; it is information that I can use.

  • Thanks for the comment Surturo.
    i appreciate your visiting and reading, and the compliment.
    Be sure to check back soon – I’m always adding new info that you might find useful.

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